Many Thanks – Is It Really So Difficult?

Have you ever worked hard on a project, pulled together an important event, gone above and beyond—only to receive absolutely no acknowledgment from your line manager? Not even a simple “thank you”? If you’ve been there, you’ll know how frustrating, disheartening, and frankly baffling it can feel.

Why would any manager think that failing to recognise someone’s effort is acceptable?

Of course, there’s a balance. Too many thank yous, repeated mechanically, and they begin to lose impact. So when is a thank you most powerful? And when can we accept that appreciation is implied, because “it’s just part of the job”?

In my career, I’ve experienced both ends of this spectrum. I’ve encountered managers who think gratitude is unnecessary fluff. “They’re paid to do a job, Jack—that’s what they’re here for.” Some even fear that thanking people sets a precedent they don’t want to maintain.

Honestly? That mindset still baffles me. Is it really that hard to say thank you? Is a thumbs-up, a few kind words, or a nod of appreciation really too much effort?

The answer is no. It’s not hard. And yes—it makes a difference.

The Power of a Simple Thank You

Saying thank you is foundational. It’s about recognising extra effort, reinforcing trust, building connection, and treating people like human beings. In fact, it’s so basic that when we do feel appreciated, we’re more likely to go the extra mile again and again. We feel part of something meaningful. We feel seen.

Yet despite how obvious it is, I still see managers forget or neglect to show appreciation—and I see the impact it has on their teams.

Let me share a personal experience.

When the Thank You Never Came

A few years ago, I was tasked with organising a significant event—a celebration marking the completion of a five-month development programme for 25 future leaders. The event brought together senior leaders, directors, and delegates for an afternoon of presentations, networking, and an evening dinner. It took four months of planning, coordination, and dedication to get it just right.

And it was a huge success.

But despite all that, my line manager—who attended the event—did not say a single word of thanks. Not that night. Not the next day. Not even in a post-event debrief (which was entirely transactional, by the way). I even prompted feedback myself, but it still never came.

Sure, other leaders and delegates expressed their appreciation. But the absence of acknowledgment from my own manager hit differently.

I didn’t take it personally, but I did feel detached from the team and the organisation afterward. Over time, I heard similar stories from others. Eventually, I left the business.

So what are the real costs of missing out on something so simple?

The Hidden Costs of Not Saying “Thank You”

Not thanking your team might seem trivial—but it comes with significant, often hidden consequences.

1. Decreased Motivation and Engagement

   
   

   Employees do less, contribute less, and stop caring.

   
   

   • Cost: Lower productivity, no innovation, disengagement.

   • Impact: People do the bare minimum.

   
   

2. Increased Turnover

   
   

   People leave because they don’t feel valued.

   
   

   • Cost: Recruitment, onboarding, lost knowledge.

   • Impact: Constant churn and instability.

   
   

3. Toxic Workplace Culture

   
   

   A lack of gratitude creates a cold, transactional environment.

   
   

   • Cost: Poor morale, gossip, psychological strain.

   • Impact: Collaboration drops, burnout rises.

   
   

4. Erosion of Trust

   
   

   Employees begin to feel invisible.

   
   

   • Cost: Resentment, miscommunication.

   • Impact: Trust in leadership disappears.

   
   

5. Lower Customer Satisfaction

   
   

   Disengaged employees don’t deliver good service.

   
   

   • Cost: Lost revenue, negative reviews.

   • Impact: Damaged reputation.

   
   

6. Stalled Talent Development

   
   

   Why grow if no one notices?

   
   

   • Cost: Lack of internal promotions, skill gaps.

   • Impact: Innovation flatlines.

   
   

7. Missed Everyday Leadership

   
   

   Appreciation encourages initiative.

   
   

   • Cost: Fear-driven culture, hesitancy.

   • Impact: Managers become bottlenecks.

   
   

8. Why Don’t Managers Say Thank You?

Here’s why some leaders hold back:

• “It’s just their job” – Ignores how appreciation drives performance.

• Low emotional intelligence – They don’t understand how others feel.

• They were never thanked themselves – Repeating the cycle.

• Too focused on output – People become numbers.

• Fear of entitlement – Misunderstands how motivation works.

• They don’t know the impact – A massive missed opportunity.

• Insecurity – Gratitude feels like weakness to some.

• Busy and distracted – It slips through the cracks.

• Confusing formal recognition with daily appreciation – They wait for performance reviews.

• Cultural norms – In some places, thanks are seen as optional.

But here’s the truth: failing to say thank you isn’t neutral. It’s emotionally expensive.

The Emotional Toll of Feeling Unappreciated

When people don’t feel appreciated, they may not speak up—but they absolutely feel it:

• “Am I invisible?”

• “Why do I even bother?”

• “They take me for granted.”

• “Maybe I’m not good enough.”

• “I don’t belong here.”

• “I’m burning out and no one sees.”

• “They thanked everyone except me.”

  
  

These thoughts are demotivating and damaging—and they silently impact performance, wellbeing, and retention.

The Ripple Effect of Saying Thank You

Now, let’s flip the coin. When managers do show regular, authentic appreciation, the benefits are incredible:

1. Boosts morale – People feel energised and valued.

2. Strengthens trust – Loyalty grows.

3. Creates positivity – Gratitude becomes the norm.

4. Improves mental wellbeing – People feel safe and secure.

5. Reinforces the right behaviours – What gets appreciated gets repeated.

6. Increases engagement – Teams take initiative.

7. Makes leaders more human – Humility builds connection.

8. Creates lasting emotional memories – People remember how you made them feel.

Make “Thank You” a Daily Habit

If you’re a manager looking to build a culture of appreciation, here are practical ways to get started:

• Schedule it – Add a weekly calendar reminder.

• Be specific – Generic praise doesn’t land.

• Use the two-minute rule – If it takes under two minutes, do it now.

• Start meetings with appreciation – Set the tone.

• Send notes or emails – Written thanks last longer.

• Encourage peer-to-peer gratitude – It’s not all on you.

• Add it to one-to-ones – Make it regular.

• Celebrate progress, not just outcomes – Value effort.

• Track who you’ve thanked – Don’t overlook the quiet stars.

• Lead by example – Show others how it’s done.

In Conclusion: It’s Over to You

Saying thank you is one of the simplest, most effective leadership habits—and yet it’s often forgotten.

It:

• Costs nothing

• Improves morale

• Drives engagement

• Builds trust

• Fosters emotional safety

• Strengthens culture

Whether you’re already great at expressing gratitude or you’re just starting to see its value, I hope this blog has reinforced the importance of making appreciation a core part of how you lead.

At Lookback Training, we champion real, open conversations—and we believe small gestures like thank yous can create massive change. If you’d like to explore this topic further or talk about how to embed appreciation in your leadership style or workplace culture, we’d love to hear from you.

And finally—thank you for taking the time to read this.